G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

I don't think film critics should be allowed to watch these kinds of movies. Or at least, they should not be allowed to comment on them. This is a classic summer action film with a plot that goes something like this: Evil bad guys develop plan to take over the world, Good guys discover the plan and work to defeat it, Evil bad guys lose this round but the door is left open for round two. Actually, the plot goes exactly like that. Throw in the cool toys, the horribly inaccurate science (more on this in a second) and personal connections/grudges between bad/good guys and good fun is surely on its way. Every critique of this film I have heard/read says this is a poorly acted film, the costumes are too confusing, the script doesn't allow the full range of the ability of actors to show through, the script has lots of holes in it that "just don't make sense", the flashbacks as a storytelling mechanism is a sure sign of lazy writing, etc. Well, yes. And who cares. For a summer action film, I expect to see a holey script. I do not expect any Academy Award nominations for acting. I expect that CGI will be a major component. And I expect bad science. Of the bad science, there is so much. And not just the "Oh, a real sonic force gun could never produce that much damage from a small pistol sized hand held unit" variety. It is the non-science-fiction bad science that makes these movies. Perhaps my favorite (and I had many to choose from) was the ultimate fate of the undersea headquarters located under the polar ice cap. This ice cap (which is FLOATING above it) gets blown up, and the now smaller chunks of ice CAN NO LONGER FLOAT. Every margarita drinking movie fan knows that it doesn't matter if you order rocks or blended, the ice still floats. So if you are a summer action junkie, this film will do exactly what it was made for. If you are already looking for films to fill out the extra five Academy slots for Best Picture, try one of these instead.
3-stars (out of 5)