Ladies First

So it has come to this. What a disappointing, missed opportunity this was. To highlight the pervasive misogyny and patriarchy in business, the CEO of an ad agency hits his head and is transported to a world that is exactly the same, but with male-female roles switched. The women are misogynistic and patriarchal. So he learns his lesson, but barely, and then returns to his world a better person. Why do we not have a chance to see what a non-misogynistic world looks like? Why can't living in a world that is run by women, or co-run with women, be an effective tool to show the dumb CEO the errors of his ways? Instead of beating him with his own stick. My version has the benefit of showing such a world to every viewer, not just changing the life of one sad-sack character. Disappointing.

2 stars (out of 5)

The Old Guard 2

What a massive disappointment. While the first film was excellent, this has no purpose. It is clearly an "episode 2 of 3" film, and on its own is purely interstitial. Yes, it reveals some backstory. Yes, it sets the stage for a grand conflict. But this is not serial TV. This is film. this 90 minutes needs to stand on its own and be worthwhile. It is not. 

If you want plot, Andy and her gang of immortals continues to do good, even though Andy is now mortal. We find out why, we find an immortal who is not good, and we have personal conflict. The plot is a mess and even the action scenes are deflating. 

2 stars (out of 5)

Celebrity Bear Hunt (serial)

A silly reality show where 2nd Tier famous Britons do challenges created by Bear Grylls. The challenge losers are sent into the "bear pit" where they have to escape before being caught by Bear. Sort of fast forwarded through these and the challenges themselves got lame after a bit. 

2 stars (out of 5) 

First Shift

Seemingly made-for-TV moving about a NY detective who doesn't like people who is paired with a new partner detective just moved up from Atlanta. Slow, deliberate, angsty. Plays like a serial with very little actual arc of tension. Just another high tension day at the office, with the net effect being that these detectives are definitely going to be alone and burnt out in another 5 years. 

2 stars (out of 5)

The Painter

A former CIA assassin (code name The Painter) gets pulled back into the life when his daughter tracks him down and people start trying to kill them both. Sort of like Hanna with a child abduction, trained assassin vibe. Actually pretty ordinary in terms of spy thrillers and pretty low quality in terms of motivation for action. Most of the painter killing CIA agents is gratuitous for the sake of action. I suppose there is some hope for a follow-on series (also a la Hanna the series) where the child assassins are tracked down and rescued from the life while father and daughter renew their relationship and find common ground in a shared skillset. 

2 stars (out of 5)

Unthinkable

A highly disturbing (on many levels) war thriller. The story features a radicalized U.S. Muslim man who has built and planted nuclear bombs in 3 U.S. cities. He is captured and the entirety of the film is the interrogation drama that unfolds to find where he has hidden the bombs. Seems like it is basically a window into "enhanced interrogation techniques" (i.e. torture) and the effect on all the people involved. Truly horrible from all points of view. You leave this wondering one thing: how are humans capable of being so in-human? Or is our aspirational ideal of "humanity" just naïveté and the real surprise is those who move away from in-humanity? I don't recommend this movie.

2 stars (out of 5)

The Bricklayer

Aaron Eckhart is a former CIA black ops guy who got out and has a regular job. But then the CIA needs him to fix a problem. So he does, in his regular guy way, but this lots of explosions, etc. 

2 stars (out of 5)

Family Switch

A retelling of the Freaky Friday, body switch story, but this time it is the whole family. Mom switch with Daughter, Father with Son and baby with dog. All of the hijinks you expect happen. All of the derivative mechanisms that you would expect of this kind of switch plot happen. And the writing wasn't careful, with several instances of post switch wrong reactions (mom actress responds with the mom reaction when that should be the daughter persona). So at best, it is a Christmas, feel good family reconciliation movie to have on in the background that may be interesting to anyone who has never seen a body switch movie before. 

2 stars (out of 5)

Hidden Strike

Set in China, John Cena is a one-time mercenary who has adopted a village and works to ensure they have water and food. Jackie Chan is special forces team leader charged with escorting oil refinery personnel in an evacuation when the refinery is taken over by other U.S. mercenaries looking to cash out. Cena and Chan end up teaming up to protect the workers, protect the village and take down the bad guys. I am not a good enough observer to put a finger on it, but this is definitely Chinese action, vs U.S. action. It really does have the feel of The Wandering Earth. The story quality here is really lacking however. 

2 stars (out of 5)

Plus One at an Amish Wedding

Stereotypes and predicability to spare. A New York doctor meets a New York veterinarian and after some dating, she (doctor) gets invited to accompany him (vet) to his brothers wedding. Just so happens he is (was) Amish and has some family issues to deal with. We see the struggle, the mistrust, the requisite doctor saves someone, everyone makes up. But the flat characterization of all the Amish -- oh my.

2 stars (out of 5)

Thor: Love and Thunder

Thor re-finds his mojo as he goes after the god-destroyer. Natalie Portman, as a worthy person to hold Mjolnir, has also transformed into a Thor god (to help manager her cancer). God-destroyer vanquished. MCU has truly lost its way if this is indicative of the story-telling and world building they are planning to engage in. The over the top attempts at cheeky humor mostly fall flat.

2 stars (out of 5)

The Kid Who Would be King

Modern retelling of King Arthur + Disney = this movie.

2 stars (out of 5)

Ghost Dog

Forest Whitaker plays an assassin who is indebted to a mobster for saving his life. He adopts the way of the samurai, which makes him very good at what he does, and also oddly bad at it. Ultimately, and probably the most obvious plot resolution ever, it leads to his downfall. Dark and moody, but achieves its moody-ness by just not having many words. Largely forgettable.

2 stars (out of 5)

Lady Driver

A 16-year old with her newly earned drivers license is fed up with her "sad teenage life" and runs off to live with her uncle. She learns about her dad (who was killed and she never knew) and learns to love dirt track car racing. She is instantly good, wins over everyone and becomes a massive success. Not even any drama or story arc here. 

2 stars (out of 5)

John Wick: Chapter 4

Following Chapter 3, Wick is now a pariah, seeking his freedom from The Table, and revenge for ... actually I forget what... but revenge. The Table has given carte blanche to the Marquis to hunt down and kill Wick. To accomplish this, the Marquis destroys anything and anyone who has sympathy for Wick. In the end, it comes down to a personal matchup between Wick and the Marquis.

There is nothing subtle about this movie. It is pure choreographed action that follows in its predecessors footsteps as being fantastical. So much so that the fight scenes are no longer fights. I mean, kevlar suits that block bullets without being torn or even flutter when a bullet hits, only letting off a few sparks? It's just silly, allowing the actors to fire their blanks at will and only occasionally lifting a kevlar cuff to "ward off" a barrage of gunfire. And the number of body-car collisions that result in only minor limping??? What was perhaps most noticeable throughout was Reeves age as Wick. He no longer runs like a svelte martial artist, but lumbers around, knees not working like they used to, the James Garner/Jim Rockford of our time.

2 stars (out of 5) 

Dog

Channing Tatum is a former Army Ranger, unwillingly retired by TBI. Lulu is a former Army Ranger K9, unwillingly retired by handler death. The two are teamed up on a cross country trip and become friends, each saving the other. Predictable, bland, and remarkably avoiding the traditional sympathetic dog emotions.

2 stars (out of 5)

Avatar

Perhaps in preparation for the sequel, perhaps because I was just tired of all the series I am watching, Avatar was the late night diversion. I didn't remember the story at all from the first viewing, but only had a recollection of the vivid use of 3D depth. Clearly watching it on the small screen of my computer was not going to compare, so the story had better be good. But it really isn't that good, or that novel. In fact, characters are pretty predictable and lacking depth. 

2nd time around 2 stars (out of 5)

The Big 4

An Indonesian action movie following a team of four assassins. They are brutal and effective, with the jobs they take largely community service types of jobs (killing drug dealers, human traffickers, etc.). When the boss is killed, the group goes into retirement, and then a few years later is forced out of retirement. We follow the team as they try to find out who killed the boss while also trying to find out who is hunting them. The plot is very holey, with the motivation and reveals largely unsatisfying. In the end, it is a grindhouse movie with Indonesian flavor. 

2 stars (out of 5)

Sniper: Rogue Mission

A CIA London and a Homeland security officer team up to take down a sex trafficking operation. Only watch when desperate or after 2am.

2 stars (out of 5) 

Secret Headquarters

An alien energy source comes to earth and chooses Owen Wilson to be the guardian. This means he gets to take advantage of the energy source, and the technology it allows to fix all bad things on earth. This includes a secret lair beneath his house, but costs him time with his kid. The bulk of this movie is the kid and his friends finding the lair, and then protecting it against the bad guy, while Wilson is out on a mission. Pretty derivative, with a Spy Kids feel.

2 stars (out of 5)